I suggested to my girlfriend yesterday that we host a Super Bowl Party, but only for those who hate both teams. She thought I was kidding. Well, I wasn’t. Here’s why:
Take Seattle first, the simpler one. Their star running back won’t speak to the media. I couldn’t care less. I do care that he likes to grab his crotch to literally lord it over his victims when he scores trouchdowns. This is primitive and deplorable behavior. Their star cornerback is an egomaniac who just can’t shut up. Son, you’re just a football player. And their quarterback cried after the unlikely victory over Green Bay. Kid, it’s just a football game. It was not the birth of your first child.
But now comes the gravy, the New England Patriots. I know, as a Yankee fan, I hate all things Boston, so I admit to bias. But consider the data. Sure, there’s “deflategate,” just the latest. If the NFL had any guts, the team should already been disqualified from the Super Bowl and Indianapolis installed in its place. In addition, the Pats were caught spying on the Jets in 2007 before a playoff game, and their coach was personally fined $500,000. They weren’t caught for spying on the Rams in their first Super Bowl win years ago, but they did. The Rams coach marveled after that the Patriots were so good defensively they seemed to know what the Rams were going to run in the red zone. That’s because they did know, but the NFL swept this one under the rug. I ignore the fact that the Pats were in that game only because they were the beneficiary of the”tuck rule” call in an earlier playoff game against Oakland, a game they should have lost. And I ignore that their former star tight end, Aaron Hernandez, is, by all accounts, a psychopathic killer. And, finally, I ignore that The Golden Boy, Tom Brady, the Pats’ star quarterback, dumped his talented girlfriend while she was pregnant for some vapid model. It seems only karma that, since their three early Super Bowl victories, the Pat have lost twice to mediocre Giant teams on miracle passes in the games’ waning moments. Serves them right.
Though I hope they both lose, I know that can’t happen. So, choosing between the lesser of two evils, I hope the Seahawks win, 94-0. Couldn’t happen to a nicer franchise.
SO SAYS THE SENTINEL.
National Debt: $18.1 Trillion
Unfunded Entitlements (MC/MC/SS): $93.773 Trillion
Debt per Taxpayer: $952,240
Annual Interest on Debt (@ .07%): $237.541 Billion
Annual Budget Deficit: $478.691 Billion
WE ARE BANKRUPT AND INSOLVENT.